Why am I finding it hard to stick to fitness goals?

(Why January makes it worse and how to move forward instead)

Ah, good old January. The moment to reset. To become the best version of ourselves. To finally get out sh*t together.

 We make the resolutions. Usually out of some half-drunken doom scroll that inevitably leads to a comparison with someone who lives a totally different life to you, yet you’ve decided your New year fitness goal must now be to look like her and have her life. We’re motivated. We drink our way through new year’s eve and promise ‘this is the last time’, tomorrow is a new day. We start with good intentions, a plan, even.

 But suddenly, the realisation comes for us mums, that January is landing heavy. Tired, unmotivated, wondering why you can’t seem to follow through on the thing you know matters. You find yourself googling ‘why am I finding it hard to stick to fitness goals’ and tell yourself that maybe it’s just not something you can do.

 You might be telling yourself:

 ‘I just have no motivation to exercise’

‘I always give up on fitness goals. Why am I in the same position every January where I’m starting all over again?’

‘Why do other mums seem to find this so easy?’

Here’s what I want you to know now: this isn’t a personal failing. And it’s not because you don’t want it badly enough (I’ll come back to this later).

 January is, frankly, the suckiest time to set fitness goals, especially in motherhood. There are real biological, psychological and behavioural reasons why.

 So let’s get to it, shall we?

The Wintering brain – why humans aren’t wired for January overhauls

We don’t talk about this enough. Humans are seasonal beings. Sure, we don’t hibernate in the way animals do, but out bodies and brains still respond to winter. Reduced daylight, colder temperatures and disrupted routines all signal the nervous system to conserve energy rather than spend it.

In winter, we’re more inclined towards rest, familiarity and safety. Energy levels dip. Motivation for novelty and change drops. New year fitness goals don’t always tie in that neatly to this scenario – especially if you’re going all in from scratch.

 But none of this is weakness. It’s biology.

 If you’ve found yourself wondering why you’re stuck to that sofa more than ever, or why you just can’t seem to drag yourself out of bed in the mornings, this is likely why. So when clients speak to me about this, yet they’ve set themselves this brand new goal of 5am wake ups 3 times a week to get a workout done, it’s no wonder that sh*t has already made it off the fridge of ‘motivational exercise quotes’ (which also get my goat, but hey, that’s for another day). Some people will say to ‘just start’ or that you just need to be more disciplined. And yes, I hear the sentiment. If you’re doing something new, somewhere along the line you need to break old habits and bring in new ones, be disciplined and get going with the goal. But the point here is this – if you’ve set some goals that just don’t seem to be working and you’re finding it hard to stick to your fitness goals, this article is explaining why that might be.

 Let me be clear. I’m not telling you not to do anything in January. I’m saying let’s see if we can make this more realistic for mothers who are still recovering from overstimulation and overwhelm of a really busy festive period. Let’s see if we can bridge the gap between what you’re currently expecting of yourself, and what your system can realistically support without burnout.

Five reasons you’re struggling with New Year Fitness Goals (and why it makes sense)

 1.     New Goals Disrupt your body before it’s ready

January Fitness goals often mean a sudden break from routine. New schedules. New expectations. New physical demands.

While a new goal will always require a level of change, which often feels great when you master it, it’s important to note that just because your brain has decided to be ready, it doesn’t mean your body is.

In winter, muscles are colder, metabolism can be less efficient, and energy availability is lower. Sudden increases in activity can feel disproportionately hard, triggering stress rather than confidence. When change feels abrupt, the nervous system can interpret that as a threat, not an opportunity.

For mums, the stress response can be even stronger. I go into more detail about that in my first blog post, which you can read here.

This is one reason why you might be finding it hard to stick to fitness goals even when your intentions are good. Your system hasn’t been eased into the change – it’s been thrown in balls deep.

2.     Guilt-based goals create stress, not change.

This is one I’m sure we all do. Especially at New Year.

We set goals based on guilt, on overindulging, on needing to ‘make up’ for what we did over Christmas. I mean, heaven forbid you enjoyed yourself. Very often these goals become very pressure-heavy: I need to lose weight, I have to make up for overdoing it, I should be doing more.

Wrong modal verbs guys. Keeping reading for the right ones.

If we set goals based on guilt or punishment, we’re not setting realistic fitness goals. We’re activating the stress response. Which raises cortisol, increases pressure and actually has the opposite desired effect physically – conservation of energy. Holding onto reserves to protect your brain.

From a behaviour change perspective, this really matters. Stress narrows our capacity to initiate and sustain new habits. It also increases the likelihood of avoidance and burnout.

3.     Training while tired feels like self sabotage 

One of the most common things I hear mums say is ‘I have no motivation to exercise when I’m tired’.

It makes sense, of course. And look, we need to find a way to push through tiredness, otherwise mothers will be waiting most of their children’s young lives before they’re ready to exercise! It’s not a reason to not do it (to an extent – I talk about tiredness and exercise in a separate post here), but it’s important to understand that this feeling is heightened in January. Because January tiredness isn’t just about sleep – it’s cumulative. Broken nights, disrupted routines, emotional load, and winter fatigue all stack up.

When energy is low, starting something new carries a higher psychological cost. The brain becomes more sensitive to effort, more likely to default to familiar coping strategies, and more prone to avoidance. In another post I also take about the cost of failure for mums when they’re trying to do something new – it feels very high stakes when you’re short on time, when you’re trying to work around everyone else, and it exacerbates this pressure. Throw in the mix that you just have no motivation to exercise, or energy to psych yourself up for it, and it results in feelings of inability.

This is where self sabotaging behaviours often show up.

Putting it off until Monday. Endlessly planning without starting. Deciding it’s not the right time. Telling yourself you just can’t do it.

They’re not character flaws. They’re protective responses from a system that’s already under strain.

4.     The comparison trap

January is loud.

Couple your own lack of motivation and energy with slumping on the sofa doom scrolling, and it only gets louder my friends. “Day 10 of my new routine” “Look how great I am for sticking to my goals”, fitness transformations and declarations of discipline serve as a smack in the face and a reiteration for you that maybe this is just something you’re not meant to do. But let’s not forget a few things here, mama:

-       You have no idea when they started their journey.

-       You have no idea what their day to day looks like

-       You have no idea what support they have to achieve their goals, or what else they are doing

-       You have no idea who these people even are.

So does it really matter?

The thing about comparison is that sometimes it can be inspirational. Someone who seems to do life in a similar way to you, is smashing their goals and it gives you the kick up the arse to tell yourself ‘I can do that, too’. And this type of comradery in comparison is highly effective. But, most of the time, when you’re already feeling low, it can quietly erode self-belief. When you see others seemingly succeeding with ease, it’s easy to conclude that you’re failing.

Psychologically, this impacts something called your self efficacy. In short, your belief in your ability to do something. When this drops, persistence drops with it and you end up in this cyclical nature of fighting against your own internal beliefs that you can’t.

Cue disengagement and giving up on fitness goals altogether. Throw motherhood in the mix and knowing that every choice you make has a high cost in terms of value, ie: I have no time, so this choice has to be worth it: the result of so-called ‘failure’ can really have a lasting impact on our belief that we can sustain healthy change. 

5.     New year new me thinking encourages all or nothing behaviour

The new year narrative encourages extremes. Total overhauls, big promises. Clean slates.

 But this ‘all-in’ mindset is one of. The biggest barriers to sustainable change.

 When goals are unrealistic, the margin for error is tiny. One missed session feels like failure. The ‘why do I even bother’. And once something feels ‘ruined’, stopping completely feels easier than continuing imperfectly.

This why a whopping 73% of people reportedly ditch new year fitness goals, thank you please. The approach isn’t designed to survive real life.

 How to move forward instead (without giving up again)

If January hasn’t gone to plan, it doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re human and could be responding to winter, motherhood and unrealistic expectations.

So what are we saying here, to give up? To park the goals and pretend it doesn’t matter?

Absolutely not. I’m saying you made a goal because something in you wanted change. To do something for you. I’m saying that understanding that January is a typically hard month for a reset, will help you move forward with a perspective shift, not another excuse to ‘give yourself grace’ and end up 6 months down the line with no goal being worked towards. I’m saying let’s reshape the goal, lower the threshold and make it manageable. Let’s know why what’s happening is happening and be ready.

You in?

Here’s how to approach fitness goals differently as you move into February.

1.     Start with what you want, not what you think you should do.

This is the absolute biggie for me. If you’re finding yourself giving up fitness routines, with no motivation to exercise, the one thing I tell my readers is, quite simply, this:

Start with something you want. Start with what you enjoy.

Instead of asking ‘what should I be doing?’ try asking ‘what do I want movement to give me?’ Do I want more energy, better mental health, confidence, a sense of achievement?

Imagine a life where you exercise regularly around the kids, in the chaos of motherhood. How does it feel? What other impacts is it having on life?

And look, the thing here is – you will find it very hard to be consistent with an exercise routine unless you actually want to do it. What movement have you enjoyed in the past? What did you do as a child? What seems like fun, or something you’d like to try.

The research tells us that intuitive movement (listening to your body and doing something for how it makes you feel) is the biggest indicator of sustainability and reduced resistance.

Makes sense, right? If you enjoy it you’ll look forward to it instead of pressuring yourself to give up your time.

2.     Decide on your bare minimum.

This is something called the Low threshold theory: give yourself a low entry point, a bare minimum, to create a small achievable action which compounds over time. It builds confidence. It increases your self efficacy, where you suddenly find yourself saying ‘I can do more than that today’ ‘ I want to go a bit further today’.

So decide this: what is the smallest version you can realistically commit to?

One run a week, Ten minutes of movement, a class you enjoy, swapping the car for a walk.

This isn’t about lowering standards. It’s about rebuilding trust with yourself. 

3.     Choose the time that matches your energy

Many mums plan exercise for when they think they should have energy, nit when they actually do. And look, I get it. Sometimes this one is unavoidable because you’re literally choosing to squeeze yourself in a window of time, so low energy makes no damn difference. In fact, at the moment you might be feeling like ‘low energy’ is your permanent state of existence, so this can be a tougher one to play out.

But, if you can match your action to energy, you may find this removes a huge barrier to getting going. If you crash in the evening, make school drop off your time to move. If waking up at 5am is just not a thing for you, don’t force it. Choose 1 day a week where you try.

Let’s not forget that increased movement also gives you an energy boost. But it’s harder to remember that when you’re running on empty. Find a happy medium of a time when you can see it’ll do you good to have a little shake up.

4.     Let your kids be part of it (for now)

I say ‘for now’ very strongly. Exercise in motherhood is for me, a sanctuary of headspace as much as it is for my health, and the protected time to lace up the trainers and get outside alone is precious.

But, I have also found that realistically, it’s not always possible. Incorporating your kids into your plan can have a profound effect, especially if you’re finding it hard to stick to fitness goals.

It can reduce the guilt many mums feel about doing something for themselves. It helps keep you accountable because you are less likely to give up in front of your children. When they see you as a role model for achieving your new goals, they will support you and enjoy the time. And, you get to keep it fun.

And remember, this doesn’t have to be forever. Think of it as a bridge, not the destination.

Separate blog post incoming! 

5.     Use accountability before motivation shows up

Motivation usually follows action, not the other way around.

Sometimes it can be really helpful to hold yourself accountable. Sign up for something you can’t back out of, bring a friend along, pay for a class, commit to a routine that your family supports – committing externally can make movement a non-negotiable before you even feel ready.

You’re not motivated yet because you haven’t experienced the reward. That comes later.

If you’re ready to stop starting over…

If you’ve been giving yourself a hard time for struggling with sticking to fitness goals this January, I hope this has offered a different perspective.

Exercise can feel harder in motherhood – and in winter – for very real reasons. Understand the reasons, and you can work with your context instead of fighting it.

February doesn’t need a dramatic reset. It can be quieter. Kinder. More sustainable.

And that’s where real change begins.